🔗 Share this article After 12 Months of Ignoring One Another, the Feline and Canine Are Now at War. We return home from our vacation to a completely different household: the oldest one, the middle one and the oldest one’s girlfriend have been in charge for over two weeks. The food in the fridge looks unfamiliar, bought from unknown stores. The dining table looks like the hub of a shady trading scheme, with computer screens everywhere and electrical cables crisscrossing at hip level. Under the counter, the dog and the cat are scrapping. “They fight?” I say. “Yeah, this happens regularly,” the middle one says. The canine traps the feline, over near the back door. The cat rears up on its back legs and bites the dog’s left ear. The dog shakes the cat off and pursues it around the kitchen table, dodging power cords. “Common perhaps, but not natural,” I comment. The cat rolls over on its spine, assuming a passive stance to lure the canine closer. The dog takes the bait, and the cat sinks two sets of claws into the dog's snout. The canine retreats, with the cat dragged behind, clinging below. “I liked it better when they avoided one another,” I say. “I believe they enjoy it,” the oldest one says. “Sometimes it’s hard to tell.” My spouse enters. “I thought they were going to take the scaffolding down,” she says. “They suggested waiting for rain,” I say, “to confirm the roof repair.” “But I told them I couldn’t wait,” she responds. “Yeah, I told them that, but they never showed up,” I add. Scaffolding is expensive, until you want it gone, at which point they’re happy to leave it with you for ever for free. “Will you phone them once more?” my spouse asks. “I will, just as soon as …” I say. The sole moment the dog and cat cease fighting is in the hour before feeding time, when they team up to push for earlier food. “Stop fighting!” my spouse shouts. The animals halt, turn, look at her, and then tumble away in a snarling ball. The pets battle intermittently through the morning. At times it appears to be edging beyond playful, but the cat has ample opportunity to escape through the flap and it returns repeatedly. To escape the commotion I go to my shed, which is icy, having sat unheated for two weeks. Eventually I’m driven back to the main room, among the monitors and cables and my sons and the cat and the dog. The only time the pets stop fighting is in the hour before feeding time, when they agitate in concert to get food earlier. The feline approaches the cabinet, settles, and gazes at me. “Meow,” it says. “Dinner is at six,” I tell it. “Right now it’s five.” The cat begins to knead the cabinet with its front paws. “That's the wrong spot,” I point out. The dog barks, to support the feline. “One hour,” I say. “You know you’re just gonna give in,” the oldest one observes. “No I’m not,” I insist. “Meow,” the feline cries. The canine barks. “Alright then,” I say. I give food to the pets. The canine devours its meal, and then crosses the room to see the feline dine. After the cat eats, it turns and lightly bats at the canine. The dog gets the end of its nose under the cat and flips it upside down. The cat runs, halts, pivots and strikes. “Stop it!” I yell. The dog and the cat pause briefly to look at me, before resuming. The following day I get up before dawn to be in the calm kitchen before anyone else wakes. Both pets are asleep. Briefly the sole noise is my keyboard. The oldest one’s girlfriend walks into the kitchen, ready for work, and fills a water bottle at the counter. “You’re up early,” she comments. “Yes,” I say. “I’ve got a photo session later, so I need to get some work done, in case it goes on and on.” “That’ll be a nice day out for you,” she notes. “Indeed,” I say. “Seeing others, saying things.” “Have fun,” she says, heading out. The windows have begun to pale, showing a gray day. Leaves drop from the big cherry tree in bunches. I notice the turtle sitting in the corner. We exchange a sorrowful glance as a fighting duo begins moving slowly from upstairs.